Day 109 of 365: what happened to day 108?

I challenged myself to take yesterday off from writing a blog entry (after consistent daily posts for 107 days straight). This decision brought some anxiety, which I leaned into. Guess what? No one cared. (I guess there’s no way to know if this is true. But, even if someone was looking forward to a post […]

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Day 107 of 365: Sometimes I wonder…

Sometimes, when I meet new people, I look at their teeth and their eyes. I wonder what their smile is hiding, I wonder the last time they cried, and I wonder what would happen if I wrapped them in a warm, open-hearted hug. I wonder about their insecurities and the narrative currently running through their […]

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Day 106 of 365: I’m so fucking sick of writing.

*trigger warning for those struggling with depression/suicidality* If I have to hear myself talk about addiction or sobriety or healing or authenticity one more fucking time, I will scream. And hide in the mountains somewhere. I am so bored by myself, and by what I write. As if I’m some pro on emotions and self-healing. […]

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Day 105 of 365: hindsight and humility and ouchy realizations

There was always a certain kind of person I despised. I considered them “bad” people, heartless people, selfish people, and so on. These were the folks who would take advantage of kind, giving humans; the folks who broke hearts without warning or explanation; those who made everything about them and flew the victim flag way up […]

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Day 104 of 365: feelings are life’s cheat codes

I’ve mentioned The Desire Map in a couple other posts. It’s a rad book by Danielle LaPorte. She also teaches a facilitator training program, and there are people around the world who are leading badass Desire Map workshops, helping connect folks with how they truly want to feel. The gist behind the program is that, […]

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Day 103 of 365: are we all lost? – a poem

Are we all lost? Are we all living under a clever ruse- A mask we’ve adopted as our own- To protect us from the truth? The truth is pain For every single one of us; Pain that manifests in different ways: Illness, aches, emotions, mental issues. The truth is bliss For every single one of […]

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Day 102 of 365: turns out I’m an outspoken person.

It turns out that I’m an outspoken person. This surprises me. I always thought outspoken things. I’d stand up to or disagree with or challenge people in my mind, but raaarrely aloud. I think that’s one of my favorite things about sobriety and about my journey of self-actualization; as I move forward and remain present, it’s […]

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Day 101 of 365: why I cut my hair at 2:30am.

3.5 years since my spontaneous spiritual awakening, and there are still days of these intense “oh shit…” realizations. It’s like, on a spiritual/emotional/mental level, I’ve somehow hit the ZOOM OUT button and gotten a clearer view of myself, who I am, and who I’m not. Oh–And who I’ve been trying to be. And it’s not […]

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Day 100 of 365: core desired feelings

I’ve been working through this kickass + challenging book over the last month: It’s changing everything for me. Or, rather, I’m changing everything for me as a result of the work I’m doing with this book. The first part is a normal book, explaining the importance (and necessity, really) of honing in on the way we […]

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Day 99 of 365: Larry Leaves — a children’s story

Here is the first part of a children’s story I began last year. This is the first time in a long time I’ve felt excited while reading something I’ve written, and excited to finish it. Larry Leaves Written by Jen Butler “Don’t make me do it!” Larry screamed. “Please… Don’t…” His voice turned to a whimper […]

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