Day 102 of 365: turns out I’m an outspoken person.

It turns out that I’m an outspoken person. This surprises me. I always thought outspoken things. I’d stand up to or disagree with or challenge people in my mind, but raaarrely aloud. I think that’s one of my favorite things about sobriety and about my journey of self-actualization; as I move forward and remain present, it’s […]

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Day 101 of 365: why I cut my hair at 2:30am.

3.5 years since my spontaneous spiritual awakening, and there are still days of these intense “oh shit…” realizations. It’s like, on a spiritual/emotional/mental level, I’ve somehow hit the ZOOM OUT button and gotten a clearer view of myself, who I am, and who I’m not. Oh–And who I’ve been trying to be. And it’s not […]

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Day 100 of 365: core desired feelings

I’ve been working through this kickass + challenging book over the last month: It’s changing everything for me. Or, rather, I’m changing everything for me as a result of the work I’m doing with this book. The first part is a normal book, explaining the importance (and necessity, really) of honing in on the way we […]

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Day 99 of 365: Larry Leaves — a children’s story

Here is the first part of a children’s story I began last year. This is the first time in a long time I’ve felt excited while reading something I’ve written, and excited to finish it. Larry Leaves Written by Jen Butler “Don’t make me do it!” Larry screamed. “Please… Don’t…” His voice turned to a whimper […]

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Day 98 of 365: “be weak”

“When did this happen?” the EA (Emotions Anonymous) member asked me. “Last night,” I said. She was visibly shocked. “Wow! You’re doing way better than I was in that situation. I was a mess. You’re really holding it together!” She said this like it was a good thing. “My issue isn’t with being able to […]

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Day 97 of 365: just for me.

I’ve had an item on my to-do list for months. Paint a painting, just for me. The rules around it are that I CANNOT SELL THE PAINTING. I’ve done this thing in the past where I’d paint something for myself, and it’d be awesome, and I’d share it on the internets, and people would want […]

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Day 95 of 365: “do nothing” — advice from 90-year-old me.

I walked into the room, though the silence of my footsteps made it seem I was floating. I remember it was breezy, surprisingly breezy. The air was fresh and circulating in a gentle yet convincing whirlwind between the two open windows on either side of the bed. There were thin curtains caressing each window, white […]

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Day 94 of 365: “i’m fine, thanks” and other lies.

I tend to put too much pressure on myself. As if this one post or this one speech or this one BJ or this one dinner is going to be the be-all-end-all for a person or, or life-changing for a group of people. I constantly pressure myself to perform. A lot of times, I hesitate […]

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Day 93 of 365: random lines from favorite books

One of my favorite things to do is pick up a book, flip to a page, and read the first line or couple lines I see. I frequently get chills because of how spot-on the readings are for what I’m going through at the time. So, That’s what I’m gonna’ do with this entry. Leaving […]

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