Day 71 of 365: I am not broken – a poem

I am not broken. You try to “fix” me, To plug in different variables Attempting to solve the problem Of my discomfort. I pray your intentions are pure, That you want to help me. And yet… It seems you want me to “feel better” Because you are uncomfortable With my darkness and pain.   I […]

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Day 70 of 365: overdid it.

Yea. So. I’m writing this from blob form on my sofa. Using my cell phone. Because I overdid it today. And possibly yesterday I was wiped out for a few weeks, which forced me to really be gentle with myself. Which recharged me. And then I suddenly had more energy and was like, ALRIGHT! BACK […]

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Day 69 (teehee) of 365: throwing out the eraser

“I’m totally closed off to you right now,” I said to my therapist. “Okay,” she said, in her normal, allowing tone. She lightly smiled in the way that she does when she’s excited that I’m expressing distaste (because that’s a challenge for me–to tell someone they’ve pissed me off). “Last week, I was in here… […]

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Day 68 of 365: I am angry because…

Aaannndd the darkness continues. Which is fine. I decided to give myself the opportunity to release some of the anger I had maybe been carrying around with me. I opened a word document and wrote about 5,000 words nonstop. I didn’t know I had that much anger in me. I feel like I could write […]

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Day 67 of 365: 18.3% complete

When I saw that today was the 67th day, I was like, “Oh my! I’ve come so far! This is going by so fast!” And then I did math stuffs and discovered that I’m less than 19% complete with this daily embracing the unknown + writing about it gig. Still quite a bit to go. […]

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Day 66 of 365: old people can still dance

I enjoyed a girls’ night this evening at a bar (with fabulous live music!) where 95% of the patrons were 60 and above. And holy Kevin Bacon, could they dance! I had a few moments of getting tears in my eyes while I saw the older married couples… because I’m a romantic and because of course […]

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Day 65 of 365: off with her head!

I  woke up this morning after about 3 hours of sleep feeling a fire within me. It’s a fire I haven’t felt in a few weeks. (It’s a little spark more than a fire. I don’t want to breathe too hard and blow it out.) In the past, I’d say, “THE DEPRESSIVE EPISODE IS LEAVING! […]

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Day 64 of 365: insert title here

I am so far out of my comfort zone in so many aspects of my life that I am not even sure who I am anymore. And I think maybe that’s a good thing. I am redefining myself. The hardest thing about growth is the people who don’t understand it. Those who are close to […]

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Day 63 of 365: my newfound niche + letting go of the fight

Over the last few weeks, I’ve been allowing myself to be internal. I’ve been objectively viewing thoughts and feelings and patterned reactions, without fully engaging with them. Doing my best to not get hijacked by them. And, if hijack did happen (meaning if I found myself riding the neural pathways of an old patterned way […]

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Day 62 of 365: Prayer to the universe, written 10/5/2014

I keep an Artist’s Prayer on the wall in front of my desk. It’s a handwritten prayer to the Universe, which was the assigned task for Week 4, Day 26 of Julia Cameron’s book, The Artist’s Way. (Which is fabulous and all humans should utilize this book. The end.) The task is “Write your own […]

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